Egotistical

Egotist; iː.gəʊ .tɪst (also egoist)
Definition: excessively conceited or absorb in oneself; self-centered. According to Cambridge Advance Learner Dictionary ; a person who considers themselves to be better or more important than other people.

If you've come across this entry, most probably you'll define me as humbled and whatnot, or at the very least, you'll reckon that I'll improve in my driving skills especially after what had happened to me. Atleast I thought I was. But I'm not.

Last weeknight, I took my younger sisters to my colleague's open house, and I gave them some tips (yeah, like I'm THAT good in driving) but end up they give me a lecture on how my driving skill really is. They said I'm driving viciously. I said, "no, I'm not, this is my driving skill, this is the way I drive and this is the way dad taught me, I'm getting used to it". The conversation that almost began to fuss go on as my youngest sister, 12, starting to say her opinion by telling me that riding with me is not smooth and enjoying, always action and drama going on every single time I give them a ride (okay she might exaggerating a lil bit). So that was less or more of the juicy journey on the way back.

Things I really can't forget what my sister told me is that when I was denying that I drive more less like fast and furious action movie was "you've been into an accident before, and yet you still drive like it never happened, you should atleast improve or be more careful next time around", I replied her like "I know what I'm doing and you don't have your hands on the wheel, you don't know what/how it feels, we'll see how you drive once you own a car". After so much denying and disapproving statements and facts being laid upon me, she later on added, "wow, such an egoistical you are".

...........silence...........

Silence = thinking

Yeah, I guess I am an egotistical kind of person. The egotism that my mom has always try to put away from me since I was a little kid is like filing rust on steel, the steel become stainless when you keep on filing it but when you don't, it'll 'grow' even worse.

The thing is that I cannot accept the complaints from someone who is younger than me or someone who does not have the knowledge in the field of what they're talking about. The brutal truth hurts, it really does, and yeah, I'm quite a wreckless driver, I don't deny it but I just can't confront it in front of them.


The question now is: when am I going to change? ~.~"

Luahan perasaan pada Tuhan

Memetik dari blog kenalan saya, Ajwad, dibawah ini ialah cebisan kata dari Ustaz Hasrizal Abdul Jamil di facebooknya.


"Banyak meluahkan perasaan kepada Tuhan, kita kurang mendapat jawapan tetapi banyak mendapat ketenangan. Banyak meluahkan perasaan kepada manusia, kita banyak mendapat jawapan tetapi semakin kurang beroleh ketenangan."


Memang benar. Hakikatnya Allah juga yang amat menenangkan hati. Bercakap dengan Allah walaupun tiada balasan, tetapi beroleh ketenangan yang tidak mampu diungkap.

"(Iaitu) orang-orang yang beriman dan tenang tenteram hati mereka dengan "zikrullah". Ketahuilah dengan "zikrullah" (mengingati Allah) itu, tenang tenteramlah hati manusia."

Ar-Rad: 28

Biar Allah sahaja yang memujuk hati ini. Dunia ini negara ujian. Tidak sunyi dengan mehnah dan tribulasi. Hati diuji bukan sekali dua, tetapi acapkali malah menyerang dari pelbagai sudut. Disitu perlunya ada hubungan hati dengan Allah yang sangat kuat. Sumber tenaga hati yang tidak putus. Dalam usaha menyediakan hati untuk manusia, jangan melupakan tuntutan untuk bawa hati ini 'bermanja' dengan Allah SWT. Dialah Tuhan kita. Dialah yang menciptakan hati kita. Lalu dimana selayaknya kita serahkan diri dan minta tolong?

"Engkaulah sahaja (Ya Allah) Yang Kami sembah dan kepada
Engkaulah sahaja kami memohon pertolongan."

Al-Fatihah: 5

Petikan dari blog Kembali PadaMu

Somebody . . .

Somebody taught me to be in control,
Somebody taught me to kiss away all the interpretations,
Somebody taught me that everything's gonna be fine,
Somebody taught me to live in reality,
Somebody taught me to dig the source of my uncertainty.

Somebody had uncover me from my past,
history I kept inside for years,
Somebody had vanish the shield,
my armor of strength,
Somebody had enlighten me to see things in different perspective,
which I misconception about,
Somebody had acknowledge me as committed and trustworthy,
which no one ever did before,
Somebody made me gain my inner strength,
somehow.

Somebody edify me by being organize,
Somebody edify me by coordinating my stuff,
Somebody edify me by improving myself.

Somebody taught me to be humble and moderate,
Somebody told me that it's okay to be vulnerable,
that I should seek for help and consultants if things go wrong
for we are human, not mutant,
Somebody taught me that there is always choices in life,
Either bad or good,
Somebody told me to be myself.

I thank Allah for sending me that somebody. Somebody that I used to know.

Things you can and can't control (Management Pt 1)

Assalamualaikum fellas. Hope you're in the pink of health.

Today, I would like to write about things you can and can't control. 


Let me give you a situation. You have a car, you usually going places by car, and one day your car breakdown and needed to send to the workshop. Having little choice, you opt for train to commute you to your office. You are late, the door of a coach is about to close, you push the button near the door to open it. Once you're safely in the coach, thousands (okay I might exaggerate it a bit, maybe hundreds or less) of eyes are looking at you as if they wanna eat you alive. (Remember, this situation is not an usual norm for you)

What is on your mind? 

~ Why is everybody looking at me like I'm half-naked?

~ What's wrong with my attire? Is there coffee spilt on my silk shirt?

~ Am I aboard the wrong train or coach?

~ Why do they looking at me?

~ What wrong have I done?

The list go on and on. And you started looking for your phone or mag or anything to distract the questions in your head. 

The real thing is, it's just you do the thinking, everybody else have their business on their minds. They don't really bother the creature who just entering the coach shortly out of breath. Psychologically, you're the one is still moving and you have accidentally attracted the attention of people in the train (just for a second though). 

That was a simple situation. Things that you can actually control because it's your mind playing tricks on you. I have a real situation that I don't usually let my mind do the tricks on me, but it got me thinking absurdly.  

I met a bunch of great mind people, when I'm around them, I always feel like I'm the least intellectual, less confident and I down-graded myself (wutta...?) BUT still, I have the guts to tell one of them bout it. And here's what he response:

"Why are you feeling so? You shouldn't feel like that. It's only you think it that way. We never judge you like you're the least intellectual. There are things that you can control and things you can't control. Like your parents, you can't choose who your parents are, they're gifted. But this, (the demoralize thingy), you can control. If you think people are judging you that way, control it, prove them wrong, read a lot of books, do bunch of research, converse and discuss, so you gain more knowledge, right? You see, there's always choices for us to make. It's whether we want to change it or not.."

There you go, a short advice, but a very precise. Thank you Mr. H. ('',)

End of Management Pt 1 (What? There is Management Pt 2? Yes, TBContinue..)

Comeback Pt 3 (Makmal Fikir [Thinklab©])

Excited. Okay. Take a deep breath. Breath in.

Commitments, a word that I used to be afraid of. Not anymore, since now I met a bunch of awesome people last month. Yeah, as I said in the Comeback Pt 1, a roller coaster is a fun ride! What are you talking about? I know, getting confuse huh? Let me spell it out for you.

The commitments I'm talking about is not about getting attach to any relationship but I'm now an agent of change for thinklab© and I challenge myself to do podcast. Podcast is a radio programme that is stored in a digital using signals in the form of numbers form that you can download from the Internet and play on a computer or on an MP3 player. I'm challenging myself because I am an introvert kind of person. By putting myself in this commitment, I hope that I will gain more knowledge and the most important thing is I boost up my confident level a lil bit higher. Now that I am the assistant for the new upcoming event, Agents of Change Program - MAKMAL© Series, I hope to build communication skills.  

Owh, before I forget, please excuse me, and give a big applause to Dinah Rakhim for introducing me to this thinklab©. 

Just to share with you that thinklab© is not just a social network page (FB), or webpage but more than that. We (the agent of change where these cool people are) will meet every Saturdays at around 10am, and we'll talk and discuss, and the most crucial part is we make things happen. The target is to be the 1st design platform in Malaysia, may not be the best but we want to be the bridge to the world out there and to create awareness of how important design is, what design capable of, what design can solves, the list go on and on. 

Its a pleasure for me to come every week despite the fun I've missed hanging out with my friends, it's because I  get the chance to 'work' my brain(s) out, in a very relaxing ambiance and 'sempoi' way. They are very cool and  welcoming. I love the positive vibes they spread, the jovial laugh, the old-school style, the awesomeness and the great minds to be hang out with. Yeah, they are from different background, architecture, industrial, interior, free lancer, media, designer, graphic, you name it but we will find one point so that everybody can meet eye to eye. It always does. We'll find solutions, in fact, they have a lively spirit and a lot of enthusiasm and can often stay focused on a creative project and forget everything around them. An artistic personality type solves problems by creating something new. 

At the end of every session, we get to evaluate ourselves which we can see from time to time, where actually we are standing. What were happening, what is going on, and what are we intend to do for the next week, next month, next year, perhaps. It made me think, enormously most of the time, what I can do to contribute, what should I say, what I should not, how to make things work, etc.

Yep, I can read your mind, what do I get? This is a non profit organisation. I did it voluntarily. I know I may not gain anything but in matter of fact I gain so much and more. It's basically for my self establishment, but in the long terms, I get to build networks, confidence, and not forgetting trust. 

Should you find this article interesting enough and eager to join us, let me know and I am so very please to lead you the way. So, basically what Agent of Change will have is:

• Meeting : Every Saturdays (except if there are events or the management stated the other way around)
• Time     : 10.00am
• Venue   : TBC by admin
• Fees     : Free admission

Ps: it's not compulsory to attend every weekend, but there're a lot to be missed =P

Breath out.

Comeback Pt 2 (2011? No, 2012)

In the name of Allah , the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. New year. 2012. 

New resolutions? No, I say I'd enough resolutions last year and I plan to bring it forward as part of my cousin's advice as well. The fact that I reached few targets last year is really up-lifting my burden. All thanks to Allah, and my parents and families. I owe them big time. 

Part 2:

Anyway, looking back in the past year, 2011, the last tri-month (I'm not preggar, mind you =P), was awesome! I had an interview for a new job. The very next week, 2nd interview, and the very next month, the new company has given me a new lease of life! I am no longer working in the playground manufacturing company but event company where I got to explore new field of design. I am so grateful that they are willingly to 'risk' me in the company. And for that, to Allah I put on hopes and praise gratitude. 

It is a totally new environment, from the software, work space, working hours, work attire, working attitude, colleagues, etc. I thought all 3D softwares would be almost the same feature but this time around, I was totally wrong. I have to learn and clear my memory from the previous software skills (which is merely impossible since I have a good memory, masha Allah. Haha). Just imagine using a software that almost 3 years competently and now I have to change the whole thing, that's not a piece of cake, man. Nevertheless, this opportunity is like a dream comes true, and I will never go and throw this out of window. I will strive and make this happen for an opportunity doesn't knock twice. It's a kick-start for me as well to move on to a higher level. I know that I have to learn and work hard, but it's worth a try. 

Now that I'm in the chinese company, (previously was Malay), I have to survive on my own. There are little malay restaurants in the area, and finding a Halal restaurant is not easy-reach eventhough I'm still in Malaysia. Even so, I might have to drive to find Halal food and finding parking is really an issue since it's a commercial area. This has made me thinking how hard to survive oversea, and I have to salute those (as a Muslim) who can strive without you having had to be compromised with the regulations of Islam rule. My solution; bring food from home, which I try to make it a habit next week. (I might sound so exaggerate, yeah, I know it's not THAT HARD to find stall or restaurants serving Halal food, but I'm a picky eaters and I find it less options that lead me to the solution).

Surau, or praying room is not provided in the company. Well, there are only two Muslims including me, so I can sense that there are no reason they have to provide one, plus it's not a big company and we're all cramped up ourselves. Nonetheless, they are so very respectful that they allow us to perform our solat in the 2nd floor meeting room and if it's equipped, we can solat in hidden corner where none of them barely see us. They'll lower the voice tone and let us alone worshiping Allah. It is a shoes-off company for your information, so the floor is clean.

When it comes to colleagues, they are very helpful especially my department. I can't say enough  gratitude towards my colleagues named Epei, Joseph the Design asst manager and Kak Anis. They are very kindhearted willingly to teach me nearly everything I needed to know in this field. Thank you so very much. Thus, I'm hoping and praying that I will strive and sharpening my edge and skills towards better self-development this year. It sounds more like resolution though? No, it's my target. Haha.

1st day (early Christmas party)  

Me & Kak Anis

Owh, I can't wait to write Comeback Pt 3 where I meet a bunch of cool people; despite the project I brought from office to be completed by today! Tomorrow is the dateline submission. Freak out + excited.

Comeback Pt 1 (Drive Safe)

Whew, that was a long period since I didn't write. Anyway, first and foremost, Assalamualaikum everyone. Well, new year is coming, what have you achieved? What is your resolutions for next year? Have you fulfill your dreams and promises? Well, this year have been quite a roller coaster for me. Nevertheless, above all, I accomplished what I targeted, despite the conflicts which come in the package. 


I've started missing my blog, eagerly wanting to dance my finger on the keyboard. It's not that I don't have entry to write, actually there are a lot that I wanna say, I just don't have time, a lot that I have to accomplish, datelines and paperworks, meetings and so on. Yes, a lot that I've been through and I couldn't thank Allah enough for bringing me such a pleasant journey. Such, really. I don't deny the unpleasant things happen in my life lately but I know that eventually, He will grant me something that is beyond my expectations, and He did. He give me rainbows!


Hence, I will write this entry by parts since there are a lot to talk about but the topics are differ. 


Part 1:
Last three months, I had an accident, a car accident, but a very minor one (thank Allah). I was on my way balik kampung, it's raining and slippery road and I'd just change the engine oil and oil filter. Despite all those that I mentioned, I shouldn't blame the condition because it can't be controlled, I should be more in control I suppose. 

Burger! Mine is the bun (last car to hit em')

Worst car wrecked

Total cars collided are 8 in a row!

So, fellas, lesson to be learned, I'm advising you (and me myself mostly) to:

• Drive carefully especially when it's raining
• Make sure the distance between your car and front vehicle is a safe distance. I've been educate that the least distance is two-car distance with your vehicle running just only 16km/h. So, imagine if you're running 90km/h, please do the math.
• Drive in the middle lane most of the time (especially during the bad weather) because the vehicle in the fast lane they tend to brake by emergency. 
• Use the hand-brake when it comes to the emergency situation
• Pump the brake twice or more to have better grip, control the steering wheel
• Do not panic and remember Allah and hold on to Him
• It's kinda important to turn down the volume of audio system so that you have better hearing and clearer picture of what is going on outside your vehicle.

Nonetheless, every cloud has it's silver lining. Whatever happen, it happens for a reason, thus all I need to do is thank Allah that nobody hurts. 
Wow, such a great feeling, brain-organized and satisfaction to write again. Awesome. I'll write the next part in nearest time.